Here’s something you probably didn’t know about primary school teachers…apparently the academic rigors of teaching phonics for hours on end to a group of miniature people who would rather be picking their noses is enough justification to really let their hair down when they are off-duty. Actually, more like let their hair down, have a big ol’ glass (or several) of wine, and then dry hump a pleather seat inside a limo to the tune of Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On. Or at least that’s the general impression I got when I went wine tasting in Napa this weekend with a limo full of Little B’s teacher friends.
All I can say is THESE ARE THE PEOPLE SHAPING THE IMPRESSIONABLE MINDS OF OUR YOUTH!! And we should be very thankful for that, for these crazy bitches can DANCE! And I’m sure that, if pressed to do so, they’d be able to simultaneously give a great addition/subtraction lesson as well…I don’t know why I think that…something about the way they were able to gyrate their hips while chugging sparkling wine implied multitasking capabilities.
Yeah, so. Wine tasting! With teachers! FUN! We went to several different wineries, the first of which was Mumm. And, apparently, my whole life was leading up to that moment when I tasted the Blanc de Blanc because I was suddenly overcome with cosmic certainty that I was led to Mumm to become a Member…to pay a small fee to receive reasonably priced shipments of champagne every two months…and then to coerce Little B to sign up for membership as well (there was only a minimal amount of arm twisting involved, for, though she is hard as nails when sober, she is quite docile when quaffing The Bubbly) so that I could get a 50% discount on a case of champagne at a later, as yet to be determined, time. All this means is that The Brit and I are going to have lots of Bubbly around the house…so much that we will now be able to celebrate even life’s wee moments. Hey, look, I’m home from work! Let’s have some champagne! Dude, check this OUT! I just blinked! Like TEN TIMES IN A ROW! Bust out the champagne flutes! Oh, you just made a poo Dear Brit?! YES! CHAMPAGNE IS IN ORDER!!!
Celebrate life’s small moments, people, that’s all I’m driving at.
So, anyway, it was a grand and debaucherous time. Though I did think the pop quizzes were a bit much…
“Ok, ladies, who here can name one of the organic greens that the lovely winery docent mentioned they plant in between the vines as cover crops to maintain a healthy microbiotic environment in the soil during the off-season?” one of the teachers in attendance prompted after the docent mistook our inebriated inability to stand up straight for “not listening” and left us to our own devices out by the oak barrels.
And, of course, there I was, jumping up and down, with my hand thrust impatiently in the air…all while speaking out of turn, “Oooh, oooh! Mustard greens!! MUSTARD GREEEEENS!!!!”
Dear la cubana gringa. When my mum started working at a school, my eyes were opened to what these childhood heroes-by-day actually get up to. They’re a bit naughty. Now, I am surrounded by teachers – both friends and family. And they’re still naughty. Thank god I’m not subjected to pop quizzes though.
ha, we teachers can have a rip-roaring time when we’re off duty. pay day fridays are well known for after work craziness.
LMM – Very naughty indeed!
Nicole – I totally dig your kind! (We certainly had a rip roaring time!)
Two of my sisters are teachers, so I am constantly saying, “THESE ARE THE PEOPLE SHAPING THE IMPRESSIONABLE MINDS OF OUR YOUTH!!!” Constantly. Did I just say constantly?? I meant CONSTANTLY.