My friend Amiroquai met me at a bar one night this past week. We had a seat and ordered some drinks, a vodka tonic for me, a beer for him. We exchanged a bit of small talk and then…
“Are you sure you want to do it here?” he asked, glancing discretely from side to side, as if to point out the other patrons in the bar that I might not have noticed.
“Since when have I ever been modest?”
“True. But here? Right now?”
“Sure! Let’s do this.”
In plain view, he pulled out his instrument, covered the end of it with a little thingamajiggy (for his protection or mine?), and stuck it inside of me. For what seemed like an eternity, he probed around.
I waited patiently for his opinion…we’d done this once before but it was under very different circumstances. Was it different this time? Better? Or Worse? Hmm, judging by his silence, most definitely worse. My patience didn’t last long…
“Well?? Did you find the hole?”
“I sure did. It’s tiny though.”
“Presumably that’s a good thing?”
“Yep. Your tympanic membrane should heal up just fine. Just give it a several weeks before you go diving again,” he said as he took his otoscope out of my ear and removed the speculum cap from the tip.
“Thanks Doc!”
It’s good to have lots of friends in the medical profession…though I very much doubt I’ll ever invite any of my Ob/Gyn friends to examine me in a bar. (Unless, of course, there’s tequila involved and then there’s NO TELLING what could happen!)
Ahahahaha. It’s so funny. I’d never hesitate to ask an accountant an accounting question in a bar. But to have a doctor examine your ear? You are so bravely kooky!
HEY, who do I have to sleep with to get on your blog roll….
Yes! Definitely don’t invite the obs gynae guys to commetn in a bar……….
Glad you’re healing ok!!
Wow, you are GOOD. I’m reading this wondering WHAT THE…! And then I remembered about your ear.
Yay for doctor friends!
Nice! I’m with Catherine: Yay for doctor friends! Glad your ear is healing ok
enidd hopes his instrument wasn’t cold – she does so hate being probed by cold instruments.
Claudia – No sexual favors necessary! I’ve been meaning to update that thing for ages! Will do very very soon! Promise!
Sally – Thanks! (And no gynies for a while, I’ve had enough of them for the year!)
Catherine – I never know if these inuendo things are going to work but I’m glad to hear that they do!
Sausage – Healing up just fine! Thanks!!
Enidd – Oh, it WAS rather frigid…but you know what that means: It was smaller than usual…so less bothersome going in.